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Sexual Abuse Statistics

• One out of every three women will be raped in her lifetime.

• One out of four girls & one out of six boys are sexually abused before they turn 18

• In the United States, 1.3 women are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1,872 rapes each day, 56,160 rapes each month and 700,000 rapes each year.

• 77% of rape survivors know their attacker.

• 90% of abused children under the age of 12 knew their perpetrator.

• One in four college women have been raped or suffered attempted rape.

• One of seven married women will be sexually assaulted by her husband.

• 84% of rapes go unreported.

• 98% of sexual assault survivors will never see their attacker caught, tried or imprisoned.

Nearly ½ of rape cases brought to prosecution are dismissed before trial.

Finding a way out of Alcoholism

Alcoholism:

Excerpts taken from : www.learn-about-alcoholism.com

Addictive, problem drinking is not a character flaw or life choice. It is a debilitating disease that affects millions of people around the world – men, women and children.

As the disease advances, it takes over the body and destroys the physical and mental health of the drinker, and may lead to pre-mature death.

It is important to note that the American Psychiatric Association has two separate diagnoses for problem drinking:

Alcohol Abuse: a condition whereby the drinker refuses to stop even when relationships and work responsibilities are compromised. Abuse leads to dependence or addiction without proper treatment.

Alcohol Dependence: an addictive and potentially fatal disease whereby the individual’s behavior has devastating consequences on work and family because of an insatiable, uncontrollable need to consume greater quantities of the drug.

Statistics:

Annually, more than 100,000 deaths in the U.S. alone are caused by excessive alcohol consumption.
Nearly half of all fatal car crashes are alcohol-related.
The average person age 14 and older drinks 2.18 gallons of alcohol a year. (Obviously some drink less or none at all, and others drink much more).
The more education a person has, the more likely they are to drink.
The wealthier a person is, the more likely they are to drink. Every day an average of 11,318 teens try alcohol for the first time.
Alcoholism costs the U.S. between 40 and 60 billion dollars per year.

Some Facts About Alcohol Use and Abuse

• Americans spend about $197 million each day on alcohol.
• The average person age 14 and older drinks 2.18 gallons of alcohol a year.
• All told, alcoholism costs about $60 billion each year - counting cost for traffic accidents, health care, social services, etc.
• Someone is killed in an alcohol-related car accident every half hour.
• Each year, more than 100,000 deaths are caused by alcohol use and abuse in the U.S. alone.
• Fifteen percent of all people who drink heavily for a decade or more develop cirrhosis of the liver - a disease that is only treatable by a liver transplant.

Some Statistics on Alcohol Abuse Among Teens

• Each day an average of 11,318 teens try alcohol for the first time.
• Two-fifths of all fifth graders have tried alcohol.
• Americans drink the heaviest in their teens to mid-twenties. Alcohol use declines after that.
• Teen drinkers account for nearly 12% of all alcohol consumed in the U.S.
• Sixty percent of all teen deaths in car accidents are alcohol related.
• Teens who drink alcohol are much more likely than their non-drinking peers to use drugs - for instance, they are 50 times more likely to use cocaine.

Treatment Suggestions:

statistics tell us a few things about treating alcoholism. From the alcohol facts, we know that:

• Effective treatment programs last at least 21 – 28 days and have an aftercare component.
  
• Effective treatment programs include individual therapy, group therapy, and medical care when appropriate.
  
• Effective treatment programs also include a family component.

How to help someone overcome Bulimia Nervosa

Bulimia Excerpts taken from www.eatingdisorderinfo.org

 

Definition:

Bulimia Nervosa: (binge-purge) is a life threatening eating disorder characterized by bingeing and purging. Symptoms include: repeated episodes of bingeing and purging; eating beyond the point of fullness and feeling out of control during a binge; purging after a binge (by means of self-induced vomiting, excessive use of diuretics and laxatives, fasting, diet pills, and/or excessive exercising); frequent dieting; and extreme concern with body weight and shape. As opposed to anorexia nervosa, a bulimic usually maintains a normal body weight with only a slight fluctuation. The individual will feel completely out of control and abnormal, and conger up feelings of depression, shame and self-deprecation. The bulimic cycle becomes habitual and highly addictive.

Signs and Symptoms:

Binging and Purging Secretive Eating: Missing Food Visits to the bathroom after meals Feelings of guilt after eating Severe self-criticism weight flucuations (10-20 lbs.) Discoloration and / or tooth decay High levels of anxiety and/or depression Poor self-esteem Preoccupation with food Swollen, parotid glands in the neck and puffiness in cheeks Excessive and compulsive exercise regimes - despite fatigue, illness, or injury Abuse of laxatives, diet pills, ipecac, and/or diuretics Constant sore throat Feels like he/she has no control over food Calluses on the back of the hands and knuckles from self-induced vomiting Broken blood vessels in eyes Withdrawal from usual friends and activities Decreased impulse control - i.e. drugs, alcohol, spending, mood, etc.

How to help your friend:

Do's

1. Increase your knowledge about eating disorders (request information packets, read books, attend seminars).
2. Talk with the person about your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is important to discuss these issues with honesty and respect.
3. Talk with the person at an appropriate time and place - in private, free from distractions.
4. Encourage the person to seek professional help as soon as possible. Suggest that she/he see someone who specializes in eating disorders (a physician, therapist or dietician).
5. Be prepared that the person may deny that she/he has a problem. If so, and if she/he refuses to get help, it will be important to tell someone else about your concerns. If your friend is under 18, her/his parents need to know immediately.
6. Listen with a nonjudgmental ear.
7. Talk about things other than food, weight, and exercise.
8. Be available when your friend needs someone, but remember, it is okay to set limits on what you can and cannot do.
9. Hang in there! It won't be easy

DONT'S

1. Don't try to solve her/his problems or help with the eating disorder on your own. Get help from others.
2. Don't confront your friend with a group of people, in front of a group of people.
3. Don't talk about weight, food, calories, or appearance. Do not make any comments on what she/he looks like.
4. Don't try to force or encourage your friend to eat. Do not get into power struggles.
5. Don't let her/his peculiarities dominate you or manipulate you.
6. Don't gossip about her/him to others.
7. Don't be scared to talk with her/him.
8. Don't expect to be the perfect friend - Reach out for support when you need it.
9. Don't expect your friend to be "cured" after treatment. Recovery can be a long process.
10. Don't keep this a secret for your friend. Remember, her/his life may be in danger.

Understanding Anorexia Nervosa

Anorexia Nervosa excerpts taken from www.eatingdisorderinfo.org

Definition:

Anorexia Nervosa is characterized by self induced starvation and extreme weight loss.

Signs and Symptoms of Anorexia:

Distorted Body Image Drastic weight loss and weight is still dropping Intense fear/anxiety about gaining weight Preoccupation with weight, calories, food, etc. Feelings of guilt after eating Denial of hunger Low self-esteem Avoids many social situations, and withdraws from usual friends and activities Constant excuses for not eating Frequent comments about feeling "fat" despite weight loss. Excessively and compulsively exercises Constant complaints of being cold Develops certain food rituals Paleness, dizziness, or fainting spells Intense, dramatic mood swings Gaunt appearance, yellowish skin-tone, and dark circles below the eyes Cessation of a period for three or more consecutive cycles Exhaustion and Fatigue Wearing loose clothing Abuse of laxatives, diet pills, or diuretics Hair loss How to help your friend: DO'S Increase your knowledge about eating disorders (request information packets, read books, attend seminars). Talk with the person about your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is important to discuss these issues with honesty and respect. Talk with the person at an appropriate time and place - in private, free from distractions. Encourage the person to seek professional help as soon as possible. Suggest that she/he see someone who specializes in eating disorders (a physician, therapist or dietician). Be prepared that the person may deny that she/he has a problem. If so, and if she/he refuses to get help, it will be important to tell someone else about your concerns. If your friend is under 18, her/his parents need to know immediately. Listen with a nonjudgmental ear. Talk about things other than food, weight, and exercise. Be available when your friend needs someone, but remember, it is okay to set limits on what you can and cannot do. Hang in there! It won't be easy DONT'S Don't try to solve her/his problems or help with the eating disorder on your own. Get help from others. Don't confront your friend with a group of people, in front of a group of people. Don't talk about weight, food, calories, or appearance. Do not make any comments on what she/he looks like. Don't try to force or encourage your friend to eat. Do not get into power struggles. Don't let her/his peculiarities dominate you or manipulate you. Don't gossip about her/him to others. Don't be scared to talk with her/him. Don't expect to be the perfect friend - Reach out for support when you need it. Don't expect your friend to be "cured" after treatment. Recovery can be a long process. Don't keep this a secret for your friend. Remember, her/his life may be in danger.

Help With Binge Eating Disorder

Binge Eating Disorder:

Excerpts taken from www.ahealthyme.com

Binge eating disorder first appeared in medical textbooks in 1992. Before this official diagnosis, people with the problem were called compulsive eaters or just plain "food addicts." 

What is Binge Eating Disorder:

• Frequent episodes of uncontrollable binge eating
• Feeling extremely distressed or upset during or after binging
• No regular attempts to “make up” for the binges through vomiting, fasting, or over-exercising.

People with binge eating disorder (BED) struggle with feelings of guilt, disgust, and depression. They worry about what the compulsive eating will do to their bodies and beat themselves up for their lack of self-control. They desperately want to stop binge eating, but they feel like they can’t.

People with binge eating disorder suffer from this psychological food addiction. Like the alcoholic that can’t say no to a drink, they can’t say no to food. Often, their binge eating is triggered by a depressed or anxious mood, but they may also overeat when they’re tense, lonely, or bored. They eat to feed their feelings, rather than their bodies.

What causes BED?

While no one knows exactly what sets off any eating disorder, experts agree that people who suffer from BED consume food as an unhealthy way of coping with strong feelings, such as sadness and anger, or psychological problems such as depression and anxiety.

Most experts believe that it takes a combination of things to develop an eating disorder — including a person's genes, emotions, and experience.

Biological causes of binge eating disorder

Studies show that biological abnormalities contribute to binge eating. For example, the hypothalamus (the part of the brain that controls appetite) may not be sending correct messages about hunger and fullness. Researchers have also found a genetic mutation that appears to cause food addiction. Finally, there is evidence that low levels of the brain chemical serotonin play a role in compulsive eating.

Psychological causes of binge eating disorder

Depression and binge eating are strongly linked. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, up to half of all binge eaters are either depressed or have been before. There is further evidence that low self-esteem, loneliness, and body dissatisfaction are involved in compulsive overeating. People with binge eating disorder may also have trouble with impulse control and managing and expressing their feelings.

Social and cultural causes of binge eating disorder

Social pressure to be thin can add to the shame binge eaters feel and fuel their emotional eating. The way one is raised can also increase the risk for binge eating disorder. Some parents unwittingly set the stage for binging by using food to comfort, dismiss, or reward their children. Children who are exposed to frequent critical comments about their bodies and weight are also vulnerable. Another factor which has been linked to binge eating is sexual abuse in childhood.

Tips for Overcoming Binge Eating:

• Eat breakfast. Skipping breakfast often leads to overeating later in the day, so start your day right with a healthy meal. Eating breakfast also jump starts your metabolism in the morning. Studies show that people who eat breakfast are thinner than those who don’t.
• Avoid temptation. You’re much more likely to overeat if you have junk food, desserts, and unhealthy snacks in the house. Remove the temptation by clearing your fridge and cupboards of your favorite binge foods.
• Stop dieting. The deprivation and hunger of strict dieting can trigger food cravings and the urge to overeat. Instead of dieting, focus on eating in moderation. Find nutritious foods that you enjoy and avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad.”
• Exercise. Not only will exercise help you lost weight in a healthy way, but it also lifts depression, improves overall health, and reduces stress. The natural mood-boosting effects of exercise can help put a stop to emotional eating.
• Distress. Learn how to cope with stress in healthy ways that don’t involve food.

Overcoming Eating Disorders

Information taken from www.eatingdisorderinfo.org

Different types of eating disorders:

• Anorexia Nervosa is characterized by self induced starvation and extreme weight loss. Symptoms include: a refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight (85% or less) for height, body type, age, and activity level; an intense fear of being "fat" or gaining weight feeling "fat" or overweight despite dramatic weight loss; a disturbance in the way one's body is perceived (distorted body image); amenorrhea (the loss of three or more consecutive menstrual cycles); and extreme concern / distress with body weight and shape.
• Bulimia Nervosa (binge-purge) is a life threatening eating disorder characterized by bingeing and purging. Symptoms include: repeated episodes of bingeing and purging; eating beyond the point of fullness and feeling out of control during a binge; purging after a binge (by means of self-induced vomiting, excessive use of diuretics and laxatives, fasting, diet pills, and/or excessive exercising); frequent dieting; and extreme concern with body weight and shape. As opposed to anorexia nervosa, a bulimic usually maintains a normal body weight with only a slight fluctuation. The individual will feel completely out of control and abnormal, and conger up feelings of depression, shame and self-deprecation. The bulimic cycle becomes habitual and highly addictive.
• Binge Eating Disorder (bingeing) is still a relatively new diagnosed eating disorder. It is estimated that more individuals battle with this eating disorder than with any of the others. This disorder is similar to bulimia in regards to consuming large quantities of food while feeling a complete lack of control. However, different from bulimia, the individual will not purge the food that was consumed during the binge. When in the binge, he/she no longer feels full and will continue to eat until the point of uncomfortable pain. Following the binge comes feelings of guilt and shame, followed by anxiety and even depression.
• Disordered Eating: Over the past few years, clinicians have realized that many people may have variations of disordered eating, yet, they cannot meet full diagnostic criteria for Anorexia and/or Bulimia. It is actually estimated that most people will never fit full criteria. Individuals that meet several of the necessary criteria, but not all specific to either Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa, will be diagnosed with Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified. Failure to meet specific criteria for an eating disorder DOES NOT mean that the individual does not have an important and grave disorder. If you or someone you know is struggling with ED-NOS, it is imperative to get treatment as soon as possible.

The following Statistics were taken from www.eatingdisorderinfo.org and/or www.NationalEatingDisorders.org :

• 1 of 5 women struggle with an eating disorder.
• Eating disorders affect up to 24 million Americans.
• 10% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male.
• At least 50,000 individuals will die as a result of an eating disorder.
• The average American woman is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5'11" tall and weighs 117 pounds.
• Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women.

What Causes Eating Disorders: (taken from www.eatingdisorderinfo.org )

Family Emotional Problems

Such family emotional problems that contribute to the development of an eating disorder are: An over involvement in the life of the child. If a parent is completely overprotective, the child, then, searches for a means of CONTROL. They figure since they cannot control what is occurring around them, they will control what will or will not be placed in their mouth. Abandonment Issues: If a divorce or separation takes place in the household, the individual, then, wants to revert back to an earlier, happier time, or a need for attention. Often times, the child might be placed in the role of the mediator between the parents and/or the parents and their siblings. If the child grows up in a tremendously body conscious household. For example, if the mother and/or father is constantly dieting, exercising, and/or commenting about weight issues, the child might begin to emulate the parent's behavior (as a means of acceptance). Mourning Period (bereavement): An eating disorder may arise as a result of a death. Because of an inability to mourn, the individual will attempt to numb his/her feelings through restriction or binging. Ridiculed about weight: If an individual was constantly made fun of (name-calling, jokes, etc.) when he/she was growing up, they might be inclined to develop an eating disorder (coping mechanism). Other Psychological Problems include: Depression PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Anxiety OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Parenting Teenagers

Twenty Rules for Surviving your Kids' Adolescence

1. Follow Through: Don't say anything unless you intend to follow through. There are few worse mistakes parents can make than announcing consequences of a bad decision and then not following through on those consequences.
2. Watch your expectations: Many times parents unknowingly place unrealistic expectations on their children. Your standards need to be realistic.
3. Accept them where they are: Try to recognize that your children have a right to their feelings. hear them out, accept them as they are and go on from there.
4. Take time to Listen: we have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that order.
5. Respect their choices: Respect your children and their choices. Don't major in the minors.
6. Ask for Forgiveness: We all fall short; we all occasionally blow it and when we do, we should model the proper response, which means saying the words "I'm sorry."
7. Respect their privacy: Your teenagers are trying to get a feel for who they are. Because of this, your kids need you to step back and let them have their privacy.
8. Communicate clearly: Words change meanings as generations change. Listen carefully and speak carefully.
9. Do the unexpected: Don't react...respond and use some creativity.
10. Talk about Potential Problems: It is really important to talk to your children about some of the pitfalls and challenges that lie before them well before they get there.
11. Don't act like a Teenager: They have plenty of buddies; they need parents.
12. Give them choices: Life as an adult is full of choices. Home is the safest place for our adolescents to learn how to make these decisions.
13. Don't Snowplow their School Road: their education is their own responsibility! Parents should resist the temptation to help them with it or do it for them or try in any way to make it easier for them.
14. Don't show them off or Embarrass them: Kids aren't fooled. They know when you are taking credit and they don't like being treated like little monkey's.
15. Don't pick at Flaws: teens see enough flaws 9in themselves and even magnify ones that barely exist. They don't need parents pouncing on every little thing they do.
16. Don't spit in their Soup: no guilt trips or passive aggressive behavior.
17. Don't talk in volumes: make only one point at a time!
18. Don't smother them with Praise: praise inflates and attaches worth to people because of what they do, while encouragement expresses genuine appreciation for who people are.
19. Don't make Ice burgs out of Icicles: very few of us bat a thousand on a daily basis. Give your children grace.
20. Handle Hassles healthily: you handle hassles healthily when you work toward a mutual solution to the problem. Compromise and negotiation.

Just some words of wisdom: As Your Parent...

• I can share with you life, but I cannot live it for you.
• I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
• I can give you directions, but I cannot always be there to lead you.
• I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
• I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
• I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
• I can buy you nice clothes, but I cannot make you lovely inside.
• I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept if for you.
• I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
• I can teach you to be a friend, but I cannot make you one.
• I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
• I can teach you to respect, but I cannot force you to honor.
• I can advise you about friends, but I cannot choose them for you.
• I can teach you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
• I can tell you the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation.
• I can tell you about drinking and drugs, but I cannot say no for you.
• I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
• I can let you work, but I cannot make you responsible.
• I can teach you to obey, but I cannot answer for your actions.
• I can teach you kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
• I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make your morals.
• I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
• I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Him your Savior.
• I can show you faith, but I cannot make you trust in Christ.
• I can teach you about prayer, but I cannot make you pray.
• I can tell you how to live but, I cannot give you Eternal Life.
• I can, and will, love you...

Free Techniques To Ease Stress

# 1 - Take care of the basics!

• Get the right amount of sleep for you. If you are getting less than 7 it isn't enough.
• Eat three meals a day.
• Make sure you are drinking plenty of water and not just caffeine drinks!
• Exercise.

# 2 - Balance your schedule

• Sometimes a promotion isn't the best thing for your family. The pay may be more but the hours may be longer. Weigh your options carefully.
• Use all of your vacation time or you will lose out on more than just time off.
• Turn off cell phones and don't answer emails. They can leave a message and the email will be there in the morning.
• Add your children's games and activities to your schedule.
• Say No! As a parent, your schedule is already taxed. There are plenty of things that will petition for your time. Weigh your options carefully.

# 3 - Self care is important.

• Schedule time for yourself. Do something that brings you some personal joy.
• Schedule a date night. Your marriage depends on it.
• Take a time out when you need it.
• Pamper yourself a bit. Find some small indulgences that make you feel good. (I get my nails done and Starbucks is another of my personal favorites)

Tips for Better Parenting

Topic: parenting children 0-12

Excerpts taken from Making Children Mind without Losing Yours by: Dr. Kevin Leman

Reality Discipline: it's a consistent, decisive and respectful way for parents to love and discipline their children. This technique is inspired by:

Ephesians 6. 1-4

Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you. Honor your father and mother. This is the first of God's Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: that if you honor your father and mother, yours will be a long life, full of blessing.

And now a word to you parents. Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and Godly advice.

Seven Principles of Reality Discipline

1. Establish a healthy authority over your children. A family is not a democracy. The parent need to be in charge. But your authority must be a healthy one. Your authority needs to be a display of love more than power.
2. Hold your children accountable for their actions. We should be teaching our kids every day that there are consequences for their actions, some postive and some negative. That's one of the most important things they will ever learn.
3. Let reality be the teacher. Look for teachable moments when you can use reality to deliver a powerful lesson. Don't be afraid to let your kids fail. Your home needs to be a place where your kids can fail and learn from their failure.
4. Use action more than words. With reality discipline, you need to state your expectations clearly. Let your children know their responsibilities to the family, to the school and to others. But then you don't need to keep repeating yourself. Let your actions speak for you.
5. Stick to your guns, but don't shoot yourself in the foot. When you make a decision, stick to it. You need to teach your kids that what you say goes. Whining doesn't change a decision. However, if you get an idea that a different decision would be wiser or fairer, you (as the parent) can change your mind.
6. Relationship comes before rules. "Rules without relationship leads to rebellion." You can't have a hotel with a set of rules and call it a home. Life is too short not to take advantage of those formative years as your child is growing up in front of you. Develop a relationship with each of your children. Take time to understand who they are.
7. Live by your values. Your children learn from watching you. What will they learn?

Two prerequisites are essential to Reality Discipline:

1. The desire to love as unconditionally as possible. You don't stop loving your kids when you discipline them.
2. You must be willing to take the time to practice it! Parenthood is a long-term investment, not a short-term loan.

Practical suggestions for making a child feel loved:

1. Make sure you see your children as God sees them- as a gift, a reward and a blessing.
2. Cultivate a childlike attitude. Don't take yourself too seriously. Rediscover play.
3. Give your children direct eye contact.
4. Physically express your love. Hugging, kissing, sitting close together, tousling hair, tickling, rubbing backs, putting an arm on a shoulder, etc.
5. Train yourself to be a good listener. Children are validated when heard.
6. Spend time together. There is no substitute for regular, consistent time spent together doing ordinary things.

Respect is earned not given. You earn a child's respect through a genuine relationship. Focus on cultivating the relationship and the respect will come naturally.

Signs of Sexual Abuse

Signs of Sexual Abuse
Because most children do not tell about their abuse, it is up to the adults to recognize the signs of abuse. Physical evidence is rare. So, we must look for signs in the behavior and appearance or our children. Unfortunately, there is not one behavior alone that determines if a child is being sexually assaulted. It is usually a combination of several behaviors such as:

• Physical complaints
• Sudden fear or dislike of a person or place
• Sleep disturbances
• Headaches
• School problems
• Withdrawal from family or friends
• Excessive bathing or poor hygiene
• Regression to younger behavior
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Changes in eating habits
• Drug or alcohol problems
• Low self esteem
• Suicide attempts or threats
• Sexual activity or pregnancy at an early age

How Can We Educate Children?

• Talk to your kids about sexual abuse. A child needs to be empowered with the ability to say "no" and given the security they will be believed.
• Teach your children the difference between good touch, bad touch and unsafe touch. Bathing suit areas are a great way to explain this to young children.
• Teach your children that safety rules apply to all adults not just strangers.
• Teach them their bodies belong to them and no one has the right to touch them.
• Tell them to report to you if any adult asks them to keep a secret.

What To Do If a Child Says They are Being Abused:

If a child tells you about abuse, you are in an important position to help that child. Remember, many children never tell.

• Remain calm. Remember that you are not angry with the child.
• Believe the child.
• Give positive messages: "I am very proud of you for telling."
• Calmly explain that what has happened to them is not their fault.
• Be responsible: Report the incident to the proper authorities.
• Get help for the child

Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse: Some Suggestions:

• You are a survivor not a victim.
• Recovery is a choice.
• Build a support system
• Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.
• There are 12 steps for a reason, work them all, even the hard ones.
• Journaling is freedom.
• Design a safe place, you deserve one
• Laughter helps smooth out the rough edges on the path of recovery.
• One day at a time is all we can really handle. Stay in today and enjoy the process.
• You have to let go of yesterday to get to tomorrow.
• Ask for what you need.
• Do some inner child work. It's worth it.
• Remember the goal, peace.
• If you do not know God, now is a good time to becomes friends!
• Recovery is a process. Be gentle with yourself.

Mountain Climbing

By: Kelly Vates, Executive Director

Kelly@asafeport.org

In the book of Matthew, Jesus uses the mustard seed as a word picture to teach the people of his day.  In chapter 13 He compares the Kingdom of God to that of a mustard seed.  He further describes this seed as the smallest of all seeds but, when planted; it becomes the largest of the plants in the garden.  It actually becomes a tree; a tree so large that the birds can come and rest in its branches. 

Just a few chapters later, Jesus again uses the size of a mustard seed as a teaching tool for his disciples.  In chapter 17, a man wrought with compassion for his son who suffers from seizures; brings the boy to Jesus’ disciples but they were unable to heal him.  When the man brought the boy to Jesus, He first rebuked his disciples and then healed the man’s son.  Later, when his disciples asked him why they could not heal the boy, Jesus says to them, “Because you have so little faith.”  He goes on to say that if you have faith the size of the mustard seed, you can tell a mountain to move, and it will.  Jesus concludes by saying, “nothing will be impossible for you.”

So often in ministry these scriptures are used to encourage distraught and hurting people to stand firm in their faith.  The parable suggests that any mountain that stands in our way or disturbs our lives will move if we only “muster up” a tiny bit of faith and tell it to move.    Let me testify that I have seen God move a mountain with my mustard seed faith.  It does happen.  I know it does.  However, it doesn’t always happen.

What if Jesus gave us these two examples regarding the mustard seed to show us that sometimes He uses our mustard seed of faith to move the mountain and other times He cultivates our mustards seed of faith in our hearts as we become mountain climbers?

Why would God have us climb a mountain?  Wouldn’t it be easier if He just moved it?  It would be easier for us; that’s for sure!  However, God is never interested in what is easy for us.  He is more interested in what’s best for us. 

Mountain climbing is where we learn the personal and intimate lessons God has just for us.  While we struggle to reach for the next secure grip, we seek His face and desire His presence.  It’s in the struggle we learn surrender. It’s within these climbing moments that God stretches us to reach farther then we could have ever even imagined.  It’s the climb that grows our faith and our intimacy with Him.

If this is a mountain climbing season for you, allow me to encourage you to take your mustard seed faith and gear up for a journey ahead.  You will need these necessary items: an approach, a rope, a flash light, and the appropriate clothing (very important for us women!) 

An approach is simply plan or a direction. Mountains are large and treacherous.  Seek out others who many have climbed a similar mountain and learn from their experience.  God gives individuals a testimony for this very reason. It will save you time, energy and pain.

Your rope is your support system.  Make sure the people surrounding you can support you as you journey the mountain.  Their weakness can be your detriment.  Choose wisely.

Your flash light is the Word of God.  Along the darkest caverns of the mountain it will light your way! Open it and use it.

Lastly, prayer is your clothing.  Remember, mountain climbing is designed to grow our faith and bring us into a deeper and more intimate relationship with our Lord and our God.  Talk to Him often and then listen.  He will not leave you nor forsake you on the mountain! 

For those of us in the middle of a climb steep climb, take courage.  As the tree of a mustard seed gives a place of rest for the birds of the air, the mustard seed of faith in your life will also give you a place of rest.  May God bless our journey!  Kelly~