Twenty Rules for Surviving your Kids' Adolescence
- Follow Through: Don't say anything unless you intend to follow through. There are few worse mistakes parents can make than announcing consequences of a bad decision and then not following through on those consequences.
- Watch your expectations: Many times parents unknowingly place unrealistic expectations on their children. Your standards need to be realistic.
- Accept them where they are: Try to recognize that your children have a right to their feelings. hear them out, accept them as they are and go on from there.
- Take time to Listen: we have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that order.
- Respect their choices: Respect your children and their choices. Don't major in the minors.
- Ask for Forgiveness: We all fall short; we all occasionally blow it and when we do, we should model the proper response, which means saying the words "I'm sorry."
- Respect their privacy: Your teenagers are trying to get a feel for who they are. Because of this, your kids need you to step back and let them have their privacy.
- Communicate clearly: Words change meanings as generations change. Listen carefully and speak carefully.
- Do the unexpected: Don't react...respond and use some creativity.
- Talk about Potential Problems: It is really important to talk to your children about some of the pitfalls and challenges that lie before them well before they get there.
- Don't act like a Teenager: They have plenty of buddies; they need parents.
- Give them choices: Life as an adult is full of choices. Home is the safest place for our adolescents to learn how to make these decisions.
- Don't Snowplow their School Road: their education is their own responsibility! Parents should resist the temptation to help them with it or do it for them or try in any way to make it easier for them.
- Don't show them off or Embarrass them: Kids aren't fooled. They know when you are taking credit and they don't like being treated like little monkey's.
- Don't pick at Flaws: teens see enough flaws 9in themselves and even magnify ones that barely exist. They don't need parents pouncing on every little thing they do.
- Don't spit in their Soup: no guilt trips or passive aggressive behavior.
- Don't talk in volumes: make only one point at a time!
- Don't smother them with Praise: praise inflates and attaches worth to people because of what they do, while encouragement expresses genuine appreciation for who people are.
- Don't make Ice burgs out of Icicles: very few of us bat a thousand on a daily basis. Give your children grace.
- Handle Hassles healthily: you handle hassles healthily when you work toward a mutual solution to the problem. Compromise and negotiation.
Just some words of wisdom: As Your Parent...
- I can share with you life, but I cannot live it for you.
- I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
- I can give you directions, but I cannot always be there to lead you.
- I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
- I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
- I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
- I can buy you nice clothes, but I cannot make you lovely inside.
- I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept if for you.
- I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
- I can teach you to be a friend, but I cannot make you one.
- I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
- I can teach you to respect, but I cannot force you to honor.
- I can advise you about friends, but I cannot choose them for you.
- I can teach you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
- I can tell you the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation.
- I can tell you about drinking and drugs, but I cannot say no for you.
- I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
- I can let you work, but I cannot make you responsible.
- I can teach you to obey, but I cannot answer for your actions.
- I can teach you kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.
- I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make your morals.
- I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
- I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Him your Savior.
- I can show you faith, but I cannot make you trust in Christ.
- I can teach you about prayer, but I cannot make you pray.
- I can tell you how to live but, I cannot give you Eternal Life.
- I can, and will, love you...
